


Hate That I Love You (But I Just Can’t Let You Go)

by thatblondefulloflight



Series: WinterShock Winter Challenge [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, Hydra, Violence, WinterShock - Freeform, Wintershock Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatblondefulloflight/pseuds/thatblondefulloflight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Three: Winter Sports. Darcy's life has had a lot of ups and downs but she is going skating if it kills her. It just might.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate That I Love You (But I Just Can’t Let You Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! This one is a little more angst than fluff. I had started a completely different piece but it fit much better with a later prompt. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Day Three: Winter Sports  
> Warnings: Angst, Violence

Hate That I Love You (But I Just Can’t Let You Go)

 

 

 

 

 

Darcy Lewis was going ice skating if it killed her. They had planned the date weeks in advance and she had been so excited. She was one who often dreamed of fairy tale weddings and movie scene moments but this one thought of being the cute couple skating around the rink had always been one she wanted. At first she didn’t have any boyfriends serious enough or willing enough to do it. Some had just wanted some fun, some had just wanted one to hang out with.

 

Then she went to college and got an internship that took her to New Mexico.

 

Then an exiled alien prince fell from the sky.

 

Then a huge fiery death machine came after him.

 

Then aliens attacked New York and she and Jane were whisked away by the same government agents that robbed them in the first place.

 

Then they hopped across the pond and were once again attacked by aliens.

 

Then she moved to New York and into Avengers Tower.

 

Then she met Bucky Barnes.

 

And they fell in love.

 

And really that’s what ruined everything. Not the love part, but the being in love with a reformed assassin who was terrified of losing any pieces of himself he had worked so hard to gain back. He was finally free and living life on his own terms. Now that he had met what was probably the perfect dame for him, he was having a terrible time coming to accept that Darcy was now a part of him. A part of him that could die or be hurt in any number of ways because of who she was and who she knew.

 

So when aliens attacked a third time and one threw Darcy out the 35th window of the Tower, Bucky felt his whole world stop. He was just bursting in to the room when the alien threw Darcy and he could only watch in horror as the glass shattered (so much for being shatter-proof Stark) and fell.

 

Thor swooped down and saved her before she could eat the pavement, but the fear was very real.

 

Bucky only grabbed her to check her over for any permanent damage and then stalked out of the medical wing. He didn’t return home to their shared apartment that night. Or the next.

 

Or the next.

 

 

What had been a great four month long relationship ended abruptly, leaving Darcy hurt and confused. She moved her belongings out of what had first been his apartment in the Tower and settled into the open room on Bruce’s floor.

 

He had eventually returned to the Tower, almost as if he knew she was no longer in his space, and used his spy skillset to avoid her. Darcy had moved passed the hurt and into the “Fuck You” stage of grieving. So she wrote him a letter telling him she was also done with the relationship and that she hoped he was happy in his life and this was a clean break. She ended it with telling him she would not be waiting around like some dame from the ‘40s might have for a soldier gone off to war.

 

A few weeks after the termination of their relationship, Darcy had flipped her calendar to see it was the date of their ice skating date. She grit her teeth and decided she would go anyway because she hadn’t been ice skating in years and she had been looking forward to it for a long time.

 

So she went by herself.

 

 

 

Bucky was locked inside his apartment as he had been for the past few weeks. He was miserable and lonely without Darcy, but every time he wanted to crawl back to her and beg forgiveness his mind supplied the lovely memory of watching her get blown out of a window. To harden that resolve he would pull her letter to him out of his pocket and re-read it for the umpteenth time. He knew he had hurt her.

 

But at least she was alive. And that’s what he wanted. Her alive and happy (which she could eventually be) and not in danger.

 

Steve had told him repeatedly how stupid he was being but he didn’t care. Steve hadn’t been in love with a civilian yet. He didn’t know the kind of terror that had flashed through Bucky at the thought of looking over the ledge to see Darcy’s broken body on the street.

 

Bucky was scared. He didn’t want to lose anything else, he’d lost too much in his life. If he gave Darcy up, he could love her from afar but have her removed enough from him that he wouldn’t be able to lose her.

 

Of course, tonight would have to throw a wrench in his plans. 

 

He had turned on the television to surf the channels when he paused at a headline on the news.

 

The reporters were gushing over a picture of Steve and Darcy ice skating on the date that the two of them had planned weeks ago.

 

A strange sensation overwhelmed Bucky, twisting his gut and making him want to throw up.

 

Who knew he’d ever be jealous of his punk?

 

Before he could truly reflect on the emotions coursing through him, screams erupted from the television as a bomb exploded. He could see the fire and destruction for a moment as panic took over and the video cut off.

 

He was dressed in his uniform and out the door in under forty-five seconds, sprinting through the garage and jumping into the first vehicle he could get his hands on.

 

He could hear on the radio that JARVIS was alerting the other Avengers but he wasn’t going to wait.

 

It took twenty minutes too long to get there as everyone was fleeing from the scene and emergency vehicles were blocking the entrance. He left the car running and ran the rest of the way, his only concern finding Darcy and getting her and Steve out.

 

He could hear gun shots and orders yelled in Russian and knew it was a Hydra cell attacking.

 

When he finally fought his way through the chaos, he saw a trash can lid go sailing past him to take out a Hydra assailant. He followed its path back to the origin and saw Steve defending an overturned table, wearing only socks and shucking off his heavy winter coat for more mobility.

 

He made his way over to Steve and saw relief on his friend’s face. With only physical communication, Steve motioned behind the table where Bucky found Darcy huddled on the ice, shivering and down to her socks. He saw their skates a ways away, clearly hastily thrown in their effort to move and hide.

 

When he finally got Darcy to look at him he realized she looked far too pale and noticed the ice around her was red. Her coat that was wrapped around her legs was soaking through with blood. Bucky yanked it off to see a wound to the inside of Darcy’s thigh.

 

Noticing his focus Darcy finally spoke, “I fell when we dove behind the table after the first bomb. My blade caught my thigh. I think-it may have hit the artery.”

 

Bucky reached down to her waist and yanked off her belt, cinching it on her upper thigh to slow down the blood flow. Darcy groaned but didn’t say anything. He noticed her eyes closed and shook her gently until her eyes opened and focused on him.

 

“Doll, you gotta stay with me, okay? I need you to be strong for me, Darce. Can you do that.”

 

She tried to nod but her head didn’t quite finish the motion before it lolled to the side. Bucky hoisted her up and yelled to Steve.

 

While he had been preoccupied with Darcy’s injury, the others had shown up and were quickly helping Steve gain the upper hand. Bucky took off with Darcy in his arms until he was in the back of an ambulance with her and demanding that they take off.

 

 

 

 

 

It was a miracle that she escaped with only a scar. It took him three weeks of groveling after she was released to get her to talk with him.

 

 

For their one year anniversary he took her ice skating.

 

 

 

There were no explosions or alien attacks.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: that-blonde-full-of-light


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